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Read me, Ellen sent from her wheelchair next to his seat.What Jake found in Ellen’s mind was a complex montage of thoughts, but they seemed to be centered on the theme of sacrifice. The phrase, dulce et decorum est, made appearances in contexts both ironical and sincere, but for Ellen, it was mostly sincere. To die for something one believed in was honorable and praiseworthy. In the Bible, that kind of sacrifice was referred to as the highest form of love. To make it into something pitiful deprived the person doing it of the honor that he had earned. For Jake to agonize over her injuries dishonored the sacrifice she had made willingly and lovingly.Jake cringed. The last thing he wanted was to make things worse for Ellen. But what could he do? He didn’t know how to stop the guilt and regret.Finally, an aide appeared at the door to the waiting room and called Ellen’s name. Jake rolled Ellen and her wheelchair forward. When Jake was told to remain in the waiting room, he got to work. When it was over and I was free it was wonderful, but who knew we had such little time? They were the four best years of my life. There were several times before I became ill that I wanted to tell you everything, to confess and throw myself on your mercy. But there are other people, people who we both care about who would have been hurt by my selfish need to purge my conscience. So, I kept quiet. Then the cancer came, and that changed everything. My courage failed me, could not face the thought of losing my husband and my sister. I've had to wait until now to make my peace with both of you. You can see that I’ve omitted much of the detail in my confession; that is to spare you unnecessary pain, because I hope that it will help you find happiness with someone I know you love and admire. Victoria knows the full story, so I'll leave it to her judgement about what she tells you. My dying hope is that you can find each other and enjoy the happiness you both deserve. Don’t let any feelings.
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